The Year We Grew Together: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MATTHIAS!

On July 14, 2018, I walked into church and met the love of my life.

On one of our first dates, Thomas said he always dreamt of naming his future son after St. Matthias.

On July 14, 2023 – our 5-year anniversary – I went into labor with our Matthias.

You couldn’t have written it more perfectly.

It was magical.

Except it wasn’t.

You see, I spent 9 months romanticizing the moment of meeting our boy. The nurses said they’d never seen a woman so happy during labor.

I literally had butterflies … until delivery.

To make a long story short: Matthias was born “sunny-side up.” So his head was down, but facing up. That makes delivery MUCH harder. In fact, only 5 to 8 percent of births occur that way. 

I will spare the details, but the pain was wild.

The recovery was worse.

And I ended up having a panic attack and fainting on the bathroom floor.

The only thing that woke me up was Matthias crying. He was hungry, but I couldn’t stand up.

I started crying.

“I’m sorry,” a nurse said. “But I have to give him a bottle.”

Suddenly, I was in a wheelchair. I got up. I put Matthias on my chest and nursed him for the first time.

Those first several months, Matthias did not get the best version of me.

He got a traumatized one.

But he loved me anyway.

Over the past year, I’ve watched Matthias go from a newborn – scared of his new world – to a joyful, peaceful, and loving boy.

Over the past year, he’s watched me go from a new mom – scared of her new world – to a joyful, peaceful, and loving mother.

We went from sleepless nights to sleep trained. Struggling to breastfeed to not wanting to stop. Two minutes of tummy time to hours of crawling. Smiling to squeak-laughing. Discovering his hands to dancing. Showering him with kisses, to getting kisses back.

We went through it all together.

Hand in hand.

And it created the most meaningful, unbreakable bond.

On his 1st birthday, I feel like it’s a celebration of the 3 of us.

This year, I learned “family” isn’t always picture perfect. It’s the beautiful moments. The challenges. The growth through it all.

And it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Happy 1st Birthday to the greatest boy in the world. 3a2bel meet sini! We love you more than you will ever know!!!