✖️I’VE BEEN HIDING THIS FROM SOCIAL MEDIA✖️
Dramatic, I know lol.
But it’s something I was embarrassed about.
In 2018, I took a break from my career.
I use social media to promote finding your passion + working hard.
Yet this year, I’ve said no to:
1️⃣ A full-time producing job
2️⃣ A position that could lead to being a TV reporter
3️⃣ Another reporting trip overseas
I’ve taken a step back -- working as a part-time producer, part-time waitress. Today, I want to share why.
I started sharing my life on Instagram during an 8-month trip in Lebanon. I had quit my journalism job in Buffalo, NY to try and freelance for international news outlets.
I always post about the GOOD that came out of that trip: published articles; self-growth: Instagram-worthy hikes.
What I don’t talk about is how lonely I was ... and had been for a while.
High school was rough … I was insecure & hated myself. So in college, when I found something I was good at (journalism), I became obsessed with becoming the best at it.
That neurotic attitude got me places. I won national awards at @UBSpectrum; worked with journalists like Diane Sawyer at @abcnews; reported for Al Jazeera overseas.
When I wasn’t working, I was working on my body. Exercising...meal prepping...avoiding social situations that’d “mess up my diet.”
I was running from the girl I was in high school. Maybe it worked.
But I barely made new friends. Hardly dated. Distanced myself from anyone who didn’t “understand my goals.” I had ZERO room in my heart for anything outside myself.
On Dec. 18, 2017, I came home. I decided to take my job back, save money + return to Lebanon when it felt right.
Well, it never did. I found myself losing my drive and … putting my personal life first 😲
I’ve filled 2018 with: dance parties w/ my nieces + nephews; deep talks w/ old friends; amazing memories with new ones.
I even launched a fitness YouTube channel. Imagine that … dedicating my time to something other than journalism!
My favorite priest recently said: “when your heart gets purified, it gets bigger. When it gets bigger, more people can find a place there.”
For a while, I was scared this year was a waste. But my heart is finally making room for people to find a place there. It’s rejuvenating … and I feel more ready than ever to tackle new goals in 2019 👊
I’m sharing this because a lot of people on Instagram promote “focusing on yourself.” I’m all about that. But if you find yourself taking it too far, it’s ok to take a step back. Take it from someone who just did for a year … it was anything but a waste.